Blessed to have you for 13 wonderful years

Steve went Home with God, on Thursday, August 23rd, 2007. He was the beloved son of Sharon & Tom Doberstein, Brother to Alicia and Meghan Doberstein. He is survived and loved by many relatives, special friends: Tyler and Ross, Sensei Mark Weinberg and the Karate Family, and hundreds of special friends.

Steve Doberstein

Steve Doberstein
"DOBIE"

Our Story

It was a warm and beautiful Thursday afternoon, on August 23rd, 2007. We were on vacation, at my sister- in-laws lake cottage with our family, our new AFS student from Italy, and two of the kids friends. After lunch we loaded up the family to take turns tubing around Pearl Lake for an afternoon of fun. Alicia and Steve each had their own tube and were having a blast being pulled around the lake.. The boat waves got a little choppy and all of a sudden Steve's tube went towards shore and hit a floating wooden raft. Thankfully, Alicia's tube went the other way. Steve hit the raft head on, and died instantly, he didn't suffer any pain. And our greif story of losing a son begins...

My Story

I recall the first 12 hours and having the taunting task of telephoning and emailing friends and family about what happened. I think I was still in shock and felt completly empty. I know I was breathing, and blood was pumping through my veins, and that's all I knew, other than that I had no feelings and emotions. I was reading email responses at 3:00a.m because I couldn't sleep. I was dumbfounded when a friend seriously and sincerely asked, How I was? I pondered for about 15 minutes, wondering if I could feel an emotion. Then, I realized I felt empathy, because I didn't just lose a son, so did my husband, children, family, friends, and community. I realized this was the grief journey of many, and we all had to survive it.



I started a series of long emails to a large group of friends that first year to let eveyone know how we were coping. The emails opened up communication on a subject that noone talks about or understands.



Within six months of Steve's death, I started sharing my story at MATC for a class called, Death & Dying. I continue to be a guest speaker, on losing a child, and what it feels like, after death communication, and so much more.



I encourage anyone to share your stories. This blog is open to write your stories and memories, your religious views, spirituality, after death communication, thoughts on death. It's our journey to remember and learn...

I also wish to share with you the additional tabbed pages: Random Thoughts, Email Communication during the first year, and Steve's Poems.
Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments, I started this blog to help and learn. Blessings to you!



Steve's Poems

August 17, 2007 - Friday


Emily, this one's for you...

Current mood: loved

Category: Writing and Poetry


Sit tight, because everything will be alright.

Cry only if you have to

And I'll cry with you too.

So here's a shoulder for you to cry on

And I'll help you move on.

I'm always here for you

Forever and more

Because your one of my wonderful friends

That I mostly adore.

I don't want to lose you

Or see you down.

I'll help you make that frown

Go upside down!

Just remember that I'm always here for you

And I know deep down you know it's true

And also remember that I love you.
*****


July 24, 2007 - Tuesday

Life

Current mood: accomplished

Category: Writing and Poetry


Why do you look so sad today

Just remember what Id say

Life is a maze

With many paths to take

Learning with each mistake

you make

Each corner is a journey tough

Lifes roads can be so very rough

Please dont ever feel like giving up

Around each bend just think of me

A helping hand ill pull you up

But for now this journeys yours

Character building thats for sure

At the end of your final bend

Lifes journey will reach its end

A guiding light will comfort you

Ill be there to take you through
*****

July 23, 2007 - Monday

A Better Tomorrow


I never knew there would be a better tomorrow

But you've come into my life and taken away all my sorrow

My days of sadness are a thing of the past

Because I have found true love at last

My days of emptiness are gone for good

Because you fill a void in my heart that you should

You've opened a window

You've shown me the light

And my love for you will continue to burn bright.
*****


July 22, 2007 - Sunday

I Never Thought...

Current mood: loved


I haven't known you very long

but that's not the way I feel;

I've told you all about me

I have nothing to conceal.

What I say may sound silly now

but you'll find it to be true;

I never thought that when we met

I would fall in love with you.

You are my new beginning,

you're the door to life beyond;

you're all that I could ever want

or ever need to carry on.

You're the future I have dreamed of,

you're a new and brighter day;

with you, there is no looking back,

the past can fade away.

Though I haven't known you very long

you'll find all I've said is true;

I never thought that when we met

I would fall in love with you.
*****


July 21, 2007 - Saturday

Because

Current mood: loved


Dark days become sunny

Frigid days become warm,

Rainy days become cloudless

And lightning got wiped away from the storm.

Oceans sing,

Rocks cry out,

Mountains roar,

And tree branches shout.



The stars fall

Right out of the sky.

The moon winks

And the sun went dry.



All because you said one thing

All because you said it true

All because you made me smile

All because you said I love you.
*****


July 18, 2007 - Wednesday

Forever

Current mood: satisfied


Forever takes me by a minute,

While I'm here with you.

I'm falling even more in love,

With everything you do.

Hold me in your arms,

Look deep into my eyes,

Don't turn away and let me go,

Don't ever tell me lies.

I swear I'll never loose you,

In my arms I'll always hold.

I'll never let you slip away,

And leave nothing left untold.

There aren't enough hours,

In each passing day,

To find all the words,

I wish I could say.

Your kiss will last forever,

Your touch forever warm.

You'll guide me to the sunlight,

And shield me from the storm.

This is what I'm saying,

With everything that's true,

I swear on my life,

That I really do love you.
*****


July 17, 2007 - Tuesday

Dobie (thanks you two! its great!)

Current mood: thankful

This was given to me by my close frends bubbs, and lita


As I sit here writing this poem,

He still won't call her on the phone.

He's very nice and funny, too,

He has a pretty futon that is black, not blue,

He's on the computer oh so much,

Doing digtal things of such,

So there's this kid named Steve,

And he never wants anyone to leave.
*****


July 16, 2007 - Monday

Giving Her The Eye

Current mood: hyper


A beauty stood on a balcony high,

Sneezed and lost her blue glass eye.

A young man walking down The Strand

Caught the flashing eye-ball one hand.

Invited up to receive her thanks

He drooled on her features, figure, flanks.

While dining on champagne and chicken

These strangers felt their heart beats quicken,

Gazed into each others eyes, imperfections indiscernible,

Including the eye-ball that proved to be returnable.

Over croissants and coffee in the morning

The young man felt suspicion dawning,

Said, "Would you do this for just any passer-by?"

"Oh no!" she said, "He'd have to catch my eye".
*****


Haircut

Current mood: sad


The Barber came to cut my hair,

I told him that it wasn't fair.

My hair had done him no harm,

Without it I would loose my charm.

The Barber he grinned a silly grin,

Said to cut my hair would be no sin.

That I should face it like a man,

But I'm a coward and away I ran.

Do you like sitting in a Barbers chair,

With him chopping away your lovely hair.

Once my head was full of curls,

Covering my face with twisty twirls.

But then the Barber came my way,

I was a child, I had no say.

Off came my curls one by one,

The Barber seemed to have great fun.

Now i'm older, my hair's grown back,

Frequent trips to the barber's i lack,

But when I see a Barbers chair,

I feel the loss of my curly hair.

You know I truly rue the day,

When that first Barber came my way
*****


July 14, 2007 - Saturday

In My Heart

Current mood: energetic


In my heart I have a picture of you,

The picture is old but you are as new.

For years I have carried it around with me,

Jealously hiding it so that no one should see.

The picture changes depending on my mood,

If I am hungry for love, you are my food.

When I am feeling sad you are my prop,

Helping me back on the way to the top.

Happy and cheerful I face each day,

Your smiling face guides me on my way.

Yours is a picture that never dims with age,

With you free in my heart not in a cage.

You are with me both day and night,

Filling my years with strange delight.

Yes in my heart I have a picture of you,

The picture is old but you are as new...
*****


Devils Soulmate

Current mood: uncomfortable

Cremate my thoughts

Erase the empty soul

Take everything from me

I never was whole.



Unspoken truths lie inside

Buried for only God to see

No one understands my life

They all just want to kill me.



My life is not my own

They shaped it from hate

No single step I take is mine

The devil is declared my soulmate.



Horns, tails and scaly skin

He rises above all

Conquering those who are weak

Attempting to make the strong fall.



The dusty road lined with fire

Leads me to the devil's cave

I know not what my future brings

And not even it God can save.



Why can't I wake up?

I need to turn this dream around

This is my life they are taking

Why won't God make a sound?



The angry fire screams with hate

Blasts of red and orange rise

Bloodthristy fallen angels lunge at me

They let out their evil cries.



I see the devil a few feet ahead

His firery eyes spilling with hostility

To turn back now would kill my soul

My body no longer has it's agility.
*****


July 12, 2007 - Thursday

One White Rose


A call for help goes out at three,

Setting off pagers all over town.

Somewhere, an unknown 1050

And the dispatcher cannot calm down.



Rescuers leap out of their beds

Leaving with no backward glances.

They can only guess what's ahead

As they leave in fire trucks and ambulances.



The ambulance departs the station

As the dispatcher repeats the address.

"The injured require extrication,

And most of all ALS."



inside, they feel so empty,

Not knowing what awaits.

Also, unsettling urgency--

They're responsible for other's fates.



Dread reaches out icy claws

As they hear the latest news.

Officers are requesting the "jaws"

And even more backup crews.



Firefighters are also on the way--

Hearts racing, a touch of fear.

"Jaws of life, what's your ETA?"

Less than a minute, now they're here.



The police were first on the scene

Controlling and directing traffic

And updating the rest of the team

(Although the sight makes them sick.)



The scene is a wicked nightmare,

Broken glass and plastic litter the ground.

There's twisted metal everywhere

And the odor of ETOH all around.



The images are horrifying, grotesque

Lit by red and blue flashing lights.

Worse than anyone had guessed--

It will haunt them of many nights.



One young man, on his way home,

Didn't see the stop sign.

The mini van he T-boned

Couldn't move in time.



20 years old-too young to drink

He'd said he was sober-- it was a lie.

he left the party, his friends didn't think

That he'd be DUI.



Crushed and slumped against the wheel

Was the driver of the van.

Dead of injuries he didn't feel,

An innocent family man.



Crumpled against the passenger door

Lay his broken and battered wife,

Her cries faded and were no more

As she passed out of this life.



A scream echoes on the icy breeze

From out of a shallow grave

Despite the efforts of the EMT's

It will be a third life they cannot save.



Curled up in a heap

The child is discovered in the wreck.

He may have only been asleep--

Except for his broken neck.



The young driver staggers form his car,

Bleeding from a cut on his arm.

He watches the scene from afar

As he's suffered no major harm.



An officer sees him standing there

And gives him a breathalyzer test.

Ignoring the boy's glassy stare

Says; "Son your under arrest."



When hopes of survivors were almost gone

And it seemed pointless to try

They heard a sound that drove them on--

A weak and scared child's cry



She looked like a porcelain doll

With pale hair and a button nose.

Skin so white, body not hurt at all--

Like a lonely white rose.



They pulled her free and began care

Of this child of barely three.

Fortunately, she was unaware

That she'd lost her family.



Hours later, the street is clean--

All traces of tragedy gone.

Rescuers slowly depart the scene

But memories don't fade with dawn.



The boy is taken to jail,

Where he beats his fist against the tile.

His mother cannot afford his bail,

And so he'll remain until his trial.



His mother, with eyes downcast,

Had tried to leave but he'd caught her.

"What's wrong? What is it?" he'd asked.

She cried and said "Vehicular Manslaughter."



For 17 years, the man had cried

Consumed with guilt and sorrow.

At times, he wished he had died

So he wouldn't face another tomorrow.



At last, he was being released

From years and years of Hell.

The pain of the accident never ceased

And never would, he could tell.



As soon as he was out, he found the graves

Of the people he had killed.

Their deaths haunted all his days

And left a void that couldn't be filled.



He is laying flowers on the ground

Next to each headstone.

He hears a voice and spins around

And discovers he's not alone.



Behind him is the one he didn't kill.

He shares the anguish she knows.

Drawn her against his will,

He gives her One White Rose.
*****


July 11, 2007 - Wednesday

one of my best

Current mood: restless


Love is nothing,

Without a kiss.

Love is everything,

When you feel like this.

Love is precious,

When they mean everything to you.

Love is painful,

When they're not with you.

Love is priceless,

The true kind can't be bought.

Love is life...

When it's all you've got.

(This Poem was re-written  into an amazing song composed by Aaron Czarnecki and Casey Stokes in 2008.  Someday soon I hope to put the song on this blog.)
*****


July 10, 2007 - Tuesday

made a short poem for today

Current mood: ninja


roses are red,

ninjas wear black,

oh my, what is this,

oh its a knife in your back...
*****



July 9, 2007 - Monday

eh...



Love is a game

just meant to be played.

Love is a phrase

just overly clichéd.


It's dominated by cheaters,

players, and rule-breakers.

Where three words often said

are lies spoken by fakers.


Love is an emotion

and hormones are the cause.

Love is perfection

that brings out your flaws.


Young ones are swayed

into believing that it's real.

Soon conscious of mistakes,

next fear is what you feel.


Love is a wish

desired by so many loners.

Love is a sight

shown off by its owners.


It's a sad pathetic world

when love is only wanted,

for the sake of having it,

and for it to be flaunted.


Love is a drug,

addictive and strong.

Love is a toy.

and you're strung along.


The endings are painful,

yet again you will start,

to end with more lies and tears,

and another cruelly broken heart.


Love is a reason

to be treated like dirt.

Love is an excuse,

an excuse to get hurt.
*****